This week I’m taking a break from seriousness and posting something just for fun. I’ve always loved writing parodies and when this popped into my head on December 22nd, I decided that I had a blog post. So with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore here we go—
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was noisy, except my clicking mouse,
The descendants were nestled, all snug in their beds,
But I was still searching for great-Uncle Ned,
And a census with Grandma and Great-Grand-pap,
Who just settled down at this spot on the map,
When suddenly arose some noises exterior,
I swiveled in my chair to free my posterior,
Away to the window, I made a mad dash,
And gazed out on the scene of a quite festive crash,
A tangle of decorations surround a miniature sleigh,
Santa flew low over a Yuletide display,
Reindeer and camels and snowmen all mingled,
I knew in a moment that I’d soon be Kris Kringled,
They struggled to pull all the lights they were trailing,
And even the dead heard his most fearful wailing;
“On Probate, on Will Book, On Baptismal Ledger,
On Census, on Plat Map, On Microfilm Reader!”
He entered extra quickly ’cause I’ve shortened this poem,
And he bore in his hands one enormous tome,
A rub of his eye and a shake of his head,
Soon gave me to know genealogists should be in bed;
He spoke not a word but went straight to my work,
Found all my relations then turned with a jerk,
And leaving the curser beside great-grandpa Morse,
Gave me some papers, each a primary source,
He sprang to his team, I yanked the mess from his sleigh,
So he managed to lift off before it was day,
And I heard his great joy at a sleigh minus fetters,
“Next year your getting all Uncle Ned’s letters!”
Footnote
I can’t resist putting something that is actually factual here at the end. Kris Kringle comes from the German “Christkindl” meaning Christ Child. I know of at least three actual Kris Kringles. There was a Danish-born Chris Kringle in Iowa in the 1880 and 1900 census. A German-born Chris Kringle was living in Geneva, Illinois in 1910. Finally there was a Christopher Kringle listed in the 1871 census in Northumberland in England.
Brilliant!